Catching Up, and The Mad Man Knitting.

Whew. The last few months have been.... Busy. As some of you may know, I have three little monsters  darling children. :) My oldest is going to be 7 in February, and this year is second grade. She's always been a kid who absolutely LOVES school, and is completely devastated when it's the weekend or any kind of day off. So the fact that she's been having some difficulty settling down and getting in trouble has been a source of frustration, concern, and just all around craziness. However, we're now almost two months in, and we seem to be hitting a bit of an even plateau, so I'm hoping it continues on. Middle child started kindergarten. She becomes equally distraught and devastated if there should be a weekend or a day off. However, she is flourishing, and is doing absolutely amazing so far. Middle has Sensory Processing Disorder (as do I), and it has proven to be a huge hurdle the last year or so. The best way to explain it is like a traffic jam in the brain. She has different limits for different things than most kids, and if she's pushed too far, she tends to just shut down. And we know that's happened when I get the blank, unwavering Wall Look. When I see that, I know it's time to go have some quiet time in her room, working on resetting and getting back to a place where she can cope with everything. And in this crazy house, it can happen a lot. We recently completed Occupational Therapy for her SPD, and I"m thrilled to say that the ladies who worked with us are fantastic, and helped me learn what to look for, and how to handle what the disorder throws at us. I also learned a lot about myself, but I'll save that for another day. Little, she's a bit put out that she's the only one who doesn't go to school, and keeps telling me "In two weeks, I gunna go my school maaaaaaam!!!" Mmmm, sure. Two weeks. Try a year and a half. Whatever makes you happy though.

So over summer, I had a herd of orders all due towards the August/September dates, which I worked like a crazy person to finish. One of the first orders was for a twin set.

Each set also had a hat and bootie set with it. Next, I had photo prop sets to finish for a very close friends incoming bundle. The decided they wanted baby to be a surprise, so I designed a boy set and a girl set. This was the result:

Excitingly, they had a baby girl whom they named Eliza. Mommy sent me photos of her in her outfit, which I will post once I finally upload them. Next was a layette set. Now, this set is a 4 piece set, and I have photos of each piece. I really do love it, and wish I had been able to make something like this for my girls when they were little. However, I wasn't a crocheter at the time. This set however, has been a source of frustration, and strained friendship.

 

 
Seriously, how cute? I was SO proud of this one. So, when it came time to deliver it, the recipient told me she hadn't taken her break yet, and hadn't been able to go take money out, which I said was fine, and to drop it off when she had a chance. Fast forward three months. I've messaged her numerous times, and was told each time she would be dropping off the money, which never happened. Finally I asked either for the money, or the set back. Her reply was that she would be dropping it off, and that she was sorry she hadn't addressed this before, she's just been tight on money. I understand that. I know how it works as a single mom. I know how hard it is. And honestly, I wasn't trying to be a giant ass and take every last penny. Had she messaged me and simply said, look, I'm broke, and I can't pay, my response would have been something to the effect of, that's fine, just let me know when you're more prepared. When I started selling things, I knew that there would need to be a line drawn between professional and personal relationships to some degree, but I never wanted that. I wanted it to be friendly, and much like a family. I want the people who love my things to be able to talk to me, and should a trouble arise, be able to come to me, and even if they don't want to go into detail, just let me know it might take a bit longer. I know the struggles, and I know the frustration or  anger behind not having money. Even now, with a husband who works and provides for us, we still run into snags and find ourselves having to rethink a lot of things and cut back. Life is never easy, and I hate knowing that people close to me feel it more than others. This also brings me to the final part of my nattering session. I was flipping through Facebook, and someone had posted a link to a blog written by a man. Who knits teddy bears. At first, I was like whaaaat?? And after the first post, I found myself scrolling back, and reading his whole story. What I found, was an awesome story of perseverance, strength, determination, and behind it is a man and his cat who simply won't take the hits of life laying down. His Facebook page is Mad Man Knitting, and his blog is http://madmanknitting.wordpress.com/ . Go take a look and read his story through. It's heartbreaking to read, but that isn't the purpose of it. Making his way and building a life for himself is the main goal, and any of you that head that way and go look at the amazing bears he has will be helping. Know someone who needs a teddy bear, or just someone who could use some love from a soft cuddly friend? Gregory has what you're looking for!

Finally Ready

I remember sitting in 8th grade English class while they discussed the accident. I remember Mr. McDougall asking if anyone knew you. I remember raising my hand. And I remember chickening out of your funeral. I was terrified. Maybe if I don't go, don't acknowledge it, maybe it'll go away, and you'll be there tomorrow in the hallway, just like every other day. Maybe I'll wake up from this nightmare, and won't be left with an empty spot. Denial. Works great for a time. Until everything catches up to you. And now is my time. I spend alot of time thinking about when we were little,  and would spend every single day together. You had so much patience and tolerated the pain in the ass I'm sure I was. I remember watching Friday the 13th and Freddy Krueger movies with you, and knowing that I didn't need to worry, cause you were there. I remember building forts in your backyard with the tarp and picnic table, and spending hours in our own little world. Even now,everytime Kokomo comes on, I think of you. The way your hair was frizzy and stood straight up for a good amount of time because you electrocuted yourself.  You asking my dad to pull you behind his car on your snow racer (he always thought you were crazy). Letting Star drag you around the neighbourhood like a rag doll. Sitting under the pine tree in the middle of the park. Paul teasing us about being boyfriend and girlfriend. Theres SO much I remember, but at the same time, theres so much I can't recall. Like why we drifted apart. Where I put the news clipping about the accident. Anything to do with it really, I've effectively blanked out. I've spent  alot of nights up crying, thinking about it all, wondering if I could have changed anything or made a difference. Wondering why now, that I need these answers, they're nowhere to be found. All I want is to be able to come see you, and say all the things I should have said years ago. I'm sorry. I miss you. I wish you stayed with me. I need you. I love you. I'd give anything to be able to tell you these things. And so I'll continue looking. I love you Joey. I hope you knew that.

My Invisibility Rant

I've been scrolling through my Pintrest, and there's a lot of pins about awareness for 'invisible' diseases like fibromyalgia, lupus, or arthritis. And that got me thinking. Why does someone need to be outwardly ill looking for us to be considered sick? My aunt had rheumatoid arthritis, and went undiagnosed for almost 15 years. You can see the havoc it has wreaked on her hands and feet. It's more visible than other diseases or sicknesses. On the other hand, my dad and I both have what would be considered invisible diseases. My dad has been sick his whole life. At age 54, they still can't tell him exactly what he has, what caused it, or what will fix it. Because they don't know. This is going on about 13 years of doctors, medication, testing, monitoring and whatever else. And still we don't have a firm diagnosis. All they can tell us is that his blood pressure and volume is low, and the main arteries to his heart have a habit of shutting off and depriving the heart of blood, which causes black outs, and potentially strokes or heart attacks. The testing in the last bit has become more intense, and we're hoping that there's an answer coming. But to look at him, you wouldn't have a clue that he deals with this every single day. You wouldn't know that at any given time his body can shut down and possibly kill him. We don't know either, and that's the scary part. It's taken a toll on him, my mom, my brother and I, on my parents marriage, and other relationships around them.
I guess in some ways I might be considered luckier. I have a diagnosis. I know what is wrong with me, and I know what to expect, and what I can and can't do. What I don't have, and never will have is treatment or a cure. I was about 23 when I was diagnosed with Ehler Danlos Syndrome type 3. Basically, it's a hypermobility disorder, that can affect your joints, heart, and cause other problems. I had been having knee pain for a while, and I was sent to physio for it. My therapist is the one who sent a recommendation to my doctor about it. She diagnosed me. Done. Until I researched it. Looking at it, it really isn't the most horrible thing to have. There are far worse, and more lethal, type I could have, and I think I definitely caught a break on this. Right now, I'm in the middle of testing for osteo-arthritis and rheumatoid arthritis because the joint pain is beginning to affect my life. I just finished blood work, xrays, and on June 17 I'll be going for an MRI. Once a year I have an ECG done to check the collagen around my heart and make sure it isn't depleting. I also need to e more aware of myself everyday. This disease (syndrome, sickness?) causes the joints to become hypermobile and sublex more easily. AKA, I'm double jointed in almost every joint in my body. And as much as fun as it sounds like, it isn't. In two years, it's gotten to the point I can't sit on the floor and play with my kids anymore, because my hips and knees lock and I'm unable to move. I can't give piggy back rides or shoulder rides because my hips and knees have a tendency to give out and cause me to fall. Sleeping is becoming more and more difficult because I can't get comfortable. Less sleep means I'm crankier with the kids than I want to be. In reality, it isn't the worst thing to have. But there are days it seems like it's consuming me, and my life. But to look at me? I look like a healthy, normal, slightly tired, mother and wife. Inside, it's a vicious fight to see what syndrome or illness is going to be dominant that day. No one sees it. My mother thinks I over exaggerate and use it as a poor me excuse. My mother in law thinks I'm a flat out liar and that I'm faking everything. Yes. Because I fucking love hospitals and doctors and all that SO FUCKING MUCH. Ugh. But that's my point right there. They can't see what's wrong, or the pain, so they assume it isn't real. But it is. It doesn't matter if it's something small, or something huge. There's millions of people out there with 'hidden' or 'invisible' illnesses. Don't write them off and assume they're lazy, or faking it.   These aren't fake, and they are hurting the person who has them, and people who are close to them.

Week 2 Of Gleeful Things Month long Giveaway!

Remember last post how I told you all about the very talented Julie over at Gleeful Things and how she was going a month of giveaways? Well shes back for week two, and this weeks theme is Pink! The very lucky winner will receive her High Tide Skully with earflaps, a Heartbeat Skully (which can I just say is so damn cute!!),  one of her adorable little Bearys (seriously, go look at them) and a pair of her Peacock Barefoot Sandals! So how do you enter? Head over to www.gleefulthings.com/blog and check out the prize package! You have 4 different chances to win, so get going!!

Giveaway Heads Up For Gleeful Things Blog!

So I was up scrolling through my Facebook this afternoon, attempting to kill time, when I came across the Gleeful Things page. Now, if you don't know who this amazing designer is, you need to just pause on reading this, and head on over there. She's a fantastic designer with an amazing eye for colour and creating beautiful patterns. How could this be even better? She just happens to be hosting 1 giveaway each week for the month of April! Anyone else as excited as me??

This weeks giveaway is her Heartbeat Skully hat. Seriously, I bought the pattern. I love the pattern, and I'm pretty sure the only thing that would be better would be to win the hat. I have another hat I bought from her, and it's my absolute favorite hat. SO!! Enough talk, and lets get down to the details: What you all need to do is take yourselves over to www.gleefulthings.com/blog/ and take a peek at the requirements to enter/ win. Once you've read it all... ENTER! And, should you not win, you all need to go over to her shop and check out the absolutely amazing patterns she has for sale! So, go! Enter and share with your friends!! And remember, this is only the first weeks giveaway, so theres more opportunities for you!! 
Enjoy!! xoxo

Little Crochet, Lotsa Babies!

I've been without my main laptop the last little while, because it's been migrating and doing everyones taxes. Which is actually ok, because then I don't have a constant reminder of all the patterns I have...  That I haven't even started, or thought of starting.  But, it's back, and mocking me. I'm using the excuse I've been busy with Easter holidays and cleaning and all that. Truthfully, I pick up my hook, finish a couple stitches, and put it down. I have a couple things to share, but I don't think theres a huge amount... Lets see.

                             

http://brittasami.blogspot.ca/2012/03/baby-blanket.html
So, this is the owl lovie that I mentioned in my last post. He came out quite fantastic, and I'm veeeery slowly working on some other ones.  Go check out her work. The original page is in Swedish I believe, but you can easily translate it.

This blanket in the making is one that I actually have a huge love for. I made a smaller blanket for my youngest a while back, and my sister was saying how she wanted it. Well, after all the colour changes I did, and all the ends I had to stitch in, there was no way I was doing that again. So I decided that doing a solid colour granny square for her would be a much better idea. I hate that there's ends to sew in, and when I'm being a slacker it seems to take a thousand years, but there has been a few times where I don't want to give it away. At all. Ever. But I love my sister, and I know she'll love this as well.

I've been reading back through the entire 5 other posts I've made (ooooh look at me go), and other than talking about my cats and sounding like a lunatic, I really don't have much about me or my life. So I was thinking maybe I would toss a little more in every so often, and kind of use this as a way to document my life and craft... If I ever find my camera... Ugh.
Anyway. My 'about me' section is kind of a small peek. I'm 25, and live in  a place called Medicine Hat. And yes, it's actually called that. Long story short, there was a medicine man who lost his hat in the river... And BAM, here we are. I was born and raised here, and moved back about 4 years ago with my husband and 2 kids. We've been married 6 years, and have two kids together. I had my first daughter at 19, and she's just gone and turned 6 on me, and made me feel about 100. Ladies and gentlemen, Rayne.

She's your typical girly girl. Likes sparkles and pink and clothes. Lord help me.

Number two came along about 18 months later. (Insert joke/comment about being easy or getting it done here). She's my second girl, and my husbands first child. She's our tomboy, and an interesting mix of both him and I. This is Kahlan.

Blonde hair, blue eyes... Guess who will be heading to a convent for schooling??

My baby is two and a half years younger than Kahlan. We had planned on three kids, but wanted to wait to add number three until after Rayne and Kahlan were in school... We came close, but not quite. Illiana was a HUGE surprise, and finding out on April 1st, 2010 made it even harder to convince everyone that I wasn't being funny.

We celebrated birthday number two in January, and I really just wish she would stop and stay my baby. She was 4 months old when my husband decided that he doesn't make boy babies, and that a trip to the doctor was in order. And so, this adorable ball of trouble is my last baby. :(  However, Rayne seems to think that if we trade in her dad and get a new one, then we can have the little brother that she so desperately wants. I don't understand why. I have a little brother, and I tried to sell him. Remind me to tell you about that another day.

Lets start with this little blurb and kinda go from there. All this typing has, I'm sure, worked off the ridiculous amount of ham and potatoes and cinnamon buns and cupcakes and such that I've eaten in the last couple days, which means it's time to go grab a cookie, and then head to bed. Now that the weather is getting so much nicer, the girls are all up before the sun, which means so am I... Ugh.
Until next time my lovies
xoxo

Holy Slacker

No, the yarn didn't strangle me. Right now, I'm wishing it had. The Husband has generously shared his cold with me, and I'm so congested right now, it hurts to keep my eyes open. Ugh. So instead of laying in bed sneezing and wishing I could breathe, I'm going to lay in bed, sneezing, wishing, and updating! I've finished quite a bit in the last few months, so I'll try to make a small dent... In absolutely no particular order.

So this one here is a three strand baby blanket in Aruba Sea, Light Pink and Off White. I Instagramed it, so of course it looks distorted. This one I finished shortly before Christmas, and the customer decided to back out and not pick it up. Normally, I would just sort of chalk it up to a mistake, and move on. But the customer was a friend, and she knew how long and how much work this order took, so it really pissed me off that she bailed. Whatever. Cute pair of booties and this will go into my stock bin. Mooooooving on...





This scarf I designed in January sometime. It's recently gone to its new home, to The Husbands cousin (long story, I'm just calling it this way to make it easier.) This picture sucks a huge amount, which saddens me that you can't see the fabulous stitch I used. The flowers (the over exposed lumps on the bottom of the scarf) are roses crocheted with embroidery floss. Little H loved her scarf, as did Mommy T. All in all, this one was a definite success.












This blanket consumed most of my January. I was looking for ideas on baby gifts for 2 fabulous friends who are expecting, and I came across a blanket on Etsy that I loved... However, I'm a major cheapo, and couldn't justify spending $13.00 on just the pattern. The balnket itself was selling for $90.00, and I understand why. My version here took about a month to make, and the time, effort, and talent needed is worth so much more. Had I not been a crocheter, I'm not sure I would have understood the pricing... But I sure do now. Anyway, this blanket measures 35.5" W and 41.5" L. The Husband and I met said friends for dinner this past weekend, and they LOVED the owl blanket. I also made a little take along owl blanket to go with it. Once I find the photo, I'll have to add it.
This isn't all I've done in the last 3ish months, but I either can't find the photo's or I'm too tired to discern them from the hoard in my photo folder. Alot of the other things I've done are hats, basic cowls... I also did some pattern testing a while back, which I really enjoyed. I purchased a new hat pattern as well, which I've been DYING to work on, but I have other orders I need to finish first... After I go make a sandwich....  And tell you to come check me out on facebook! www.facebook.com/TangledWebDesign